I came across this TED.com Youtube video today and it got me thinking.
I like sharing my “Hero Story”. In my life I have had many hero stories. I believe that life, in general, is a challenge and some have had to face that challenge daily. Living with a disability is a heroic journey and sharing that journey helps others in their journeys. I saw the video on Ted.com and I was inspired because there is one problem with the hero journey. It is not real. That “Status Quo” is not always upgraded to a new level. Sometimes that “Status Quo” is just making it through. Sometimes you are not ‘upgraded’. Maybe you just survive. And what then? Do you wait for the next journey? Or are you still in a larger Hero Story? I have been struggling lately with life. In years past I had a goal a purpose. In recent years I was leading a group on a pilgrimage. Good or bad, I was out in front leading the charge to Europe and a once in a lifetime event. Now that was a hero journey. I went through all the steps. I had my wins and major challenges. But in the end we all made it through with no one injured and no one lost. I have been told, “for a group of our size that was amazing”. Well no one was lost until we got back home to our normal lives… That is when I got lost.
Nothing has been the same after as it was before… And with a hero story that is how it is supposed to be… Right?
Before I was a church going man… Heck I was at the church more waking hours than I was at home.
Now… Well I at times have gone weeks between masses.
Before, I was working three jobs and still fund raising for the trip.
Now… I am struggling to just keep up with my one job.
Before, I was facing my physical challenges and ignoring the pain and kept right on going.
Now… I can barely gather the strength to get out the front door through the daily pain.
I can honestly say I am not the man I was before the journey. Sometimes I question if I even completed a “Hero’s Journey”. Or did I actually loose and fail. I try and reassure myself that I led 15 people on a journey that in some form or fashion will shape their lives for the future. But then I look at my life… in an hero journey we are supposed to be ‘upgraded’. This I am not.
Who knows maybe I am just stuck in step 6 “Crisis” and am looking for my “Treasure”. After, so many adventures in my life it is strange not to have a goal that I am working for or a monster to slay.
Maybe it is time to start looking for that monster…. Maybe it is within…